Balance Your Success

A woman's success can manifest itself in different forms - you may earn more, or simply have a job that puts you in the limelight more often. Here are three scenarios you have to deal with if you're highly successful - and tips to restore the equilibrium.

Success Scenario #1: You Have Status	Having a partner who's constantly being praised is the easiest success scenario to deal with, says Dr Alon Gratch, author of If Love Could Think (Harmony). However, there are still issues he has to contend with. 'Even if he does better than you financially, you may be the one getting all the attention when you go out socially, while no one cares to ask about his job,' explains licensed marriage therapist and author of It's Mostly His Fault (Grand Central Publishing), Robert Mark Alter. 'And for some men, it's a real blow to the ego because it's in a man's nature to have a competitive drive.' For others, however, it merely involves a mind shift. 'Men who thrive in this scenario are able to rewrite the rules about the real definition of manliness for themselves,' says Alter. 'Instead of looking at it as not having as big of a name as hers, his masculine identity comes from serving as her provider in the relationship, whether it's financial or emotional or both,' says Alter. 'Secondly, he must realise that her power and status don't subtract from his, as if there were a limited supply between them.' Still, it's not entirely up to a guy to tackle this transition - you need to take action too. And the first step is making him feel like he's sharing in - not shadowed by - your status. Bottom line: 'Your public triumphs have to feel like a triumph for both of you as a unit,' says Alter. 'Otherwise, competitiveness and resentment can creep in.'
Success Scenario #2: You Have Money
Success Scenario #3: You Have Status and Money

Author: Riaan Smith