Change Is Good

I would just like to thank you for your article about Kelly Rowland done by Assistant Director Cathy Lund (‘Musical Chairs’, July 2010).

I can relate to Kelly in the sense of her always being compared to and always being in the shadow of Beyoncé. While growing up, I had a very beautiful friend who came from a rich family. I so wanted to be her and have everything she had. Not because I lacked anything, but because I was always being compared to her, even if it was not necessary; at school, by boys and friends. I was told I was pretty, but not as pretty as her. I was told I was intelligent, but not as intelligent as her. As much as I loved her as my friend, inside I was beginning to hate her, not because she did anything to me, but because I felt like I would never be good enough and would always be under her shadow. Sometimes I wished that she could re-locate or something, so that for a change, things can be about me, I can be the pretty one or the intelligent one that had the best phone at school. Guess what? We are young working ladies and I still feel like that.

Kelly said in the article: ‘There was still a bit of success but not what I wanted.’ The article further goes to state that: ‘So she’s making changes.....’

That hit me. I realise that I will never be happy if my happiness is benchmarked on someone else’s happiness. I realise that I will never be content in my life as long as I want my life to be like someone else’s life. For the first time in my life, I just did a hairstyle that she has never done before, that suits me and my features, and I look hot. The thing is, I would copy hairstyles that she would do because they looked good on her, and thinking that if I do the same, they would look good on me too, or even better than her.

It’s a long road to change, but I will take it a step at a time. My next step is to buy clothes that I like and that flatter me. I will stop buying clothes that she buys. I will also start jogging instead of going to gym. I hate the gym, it was never for me, but I just did it so I could be on her level. There are other things that I’m planning to change, but I will be taking it a step at a time.

Kelly has helped me start the process of appreciating myself and believing in myself. I have been inspired to deal with my own demons, before ‘I invite someone into all that’s going on’. I realise that I’m beautiful according to my own standards and as a first rate version of myself.

Thank you COSMO for giving me the confidence to come out of my shell....

Author: Anonymous