Cosmopolitan.com http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za Cosmopolitan.com http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za/images/cosmo_logo_toolbox.gif Money en-us catherined at cosmopolitan dot co dot za Copyright 2009 Memories of my Mother http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/memories-of-my-mother
Memories about my mother and my childhood started to surface, and I was weeping nonstop – even shaking uncontrollably.  

What really stuck with me was,  ‘If moms are the blueprint of future relationships, [we] built ours on dysfunctional ground.’ I decided I wouldn’t put my future children through the same hell. Thanks for real articles that keep me coming back.


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Mon, 17 Mar 2014 12:00 +0200
Dealing with Depression http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/dealing-with-depression
I’m so grateful for the online Therapy Thursdays. I need to be mentally healthy for myself and my baby.

– Amanda Makha, Pretoria ]]>
Thu, 23 Jan 2014 12:00 +0200
Spreading CF Awareness http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/spreading-cf-awareness Thu, 19 Dec 2013 12:00 +0200 Life After Trauma http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/life-after-trauma -Rosemary Emordi,
Johannesburg

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Mon, 18 Nov 2013 12:00 +0200
Fighting The Good Fight http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/fighting-the-good-fight-

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Tue, 17 Sep 2013 12:00 +0200
Set Free http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/set-free
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Wed, 14 Aug 2013 12:00 +0200
I am a Proud Survivor http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/i-am-a-proud-survivor
Thank you, Akona, for relating your experience, and thank you, Cosmo, for
fearlessly tackling such a scary and stigmatized issue.

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Mon, 20 May 2013 12:00 +0200
Do It! http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/do-it for years!

Thank you for making me see that nobody else can get my life where I want it to be, but me. I have since joined the gym, started a healthy eating plan, lost nearly five kilos, grabbed the bull (my boss) by the balls about a pay rise and I've never been happier!

Next: asking that cute guy working in Exclusive Books out for coffee ;)

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Mon, 18 Mar 2013 12:00 +0200
Feeling Free http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/feeling-free
In my first year at university I found myself in an abusive relationship that got progressively worse as time went by. It started out with simple things like him getting jealous -- flattering at first, but he continued to manipulate and control me until the relationship became verbally and emotionally abusive and at times edged on physical.

I stuck around for a long time, thinking it was due to his troubled past and that I could help him. I eventually managed to get out of it, however having struggled emotionally since. Thank you for helping me and other South African women realise that we are not in this struggle alone.

I finally have a sense of freedom knowing that it isn't my fault, and never was. I now know the signs to watch out for and will ensure I will never put myself through the same experience again.

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Mon, 20 May 2013 12:00 +0200
For One Night Only http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/for-one-night-only
I think it's important to experience that kind of insight into yourself before you settle down with Mr Right. He'll appreciate the lessons you have learned too. COSMO, thanks for opening up a chapter for women to realise owning your sexuality is great and nothing to be ashamed of.

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Mon, 18 Feb 2013 12:00 +0200
What It Feels Like... http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/what-it-feels-like
When I thought I did find someone to share part of my being with, Facebook played an instrumental part in helping me discover what was actually happening behind the scenes in the life of someone I thought could be the ONE.

I do know that there are good guys out there who will be faithful, I just haven't had the luck of meeting someone yet. Erin and Christian's relationship should serve as an inspiration to every other girl who has been cheated on or whose dad has cheated on her mom.

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Mon, 14 Jan 2013 12:00 +0200
Set Your Clock For Happiness http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/set-your-clock-for-happiness
From an overwhelmed, grumpy, miserable female to a woman that feels in control, empowered and enjoying life! I'm smiling and laughing again... even when doing dishes! Found my smile in the empowering, priceless article.

COSMOPOLITAN... you make me happy!


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Mon, 17 Dec 2012 12:00 +0200
You're Flawsome! http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/youre-flawsome
It just really echoed what a friend of mine has been saying to me for a few months and reading it has just made it more real! I am VERY quick to criticise myself and my flaws and she VERY quickly corrects me and reminds me that I am beautiful! She has been great at making me see myself from a different perspective and has taught me to love ALL of myself, the good, the 'not so bad anymore' and the 'it used to be ugly'!

If you can't believe in yourself, then read this article in COSMO and find a friend who will remind you about just how FLAWLESS and AWESOME you really are!

COSMO, you inspire me daily... thank you for all the LOVE.

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Mon, 19 Nov 2012 12:00 +0200
Happy, Sexy & Single http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/happy-sexy--single
I am proud to say to the COSMO team - thank you for helping me grow in my relationships, friendships and for simply giving my confidence a boost! I'm as confident as ever. I feel 'untouchable'. What better happiness than accepting a compliment from someone, and in turn, giving yourself one? Boy, have I got a lot to learn about life!

Thank you COSMO team!

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Mon, 15 Oct 2012 12:00 +0200
My Best Friend: COSMO http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/my-best-friend-cosmo
I loved the winning letter 'COSMO Comfort' (September 2012). AB, I know what you are going through, we were all beautiful, outgoing wild ladies until we were struck with some type disease. I have had chemo every three weeks since last March 2011. I have had my best friend, 'COSMO' with me from the start - to my last chemo treatment, which was on 27 August 2012. One year and seven months, every 3 weeks - it has killed me.

I have been fighting a very aggressive, fast-growing breast cancer and the doctors said I would only have two years to live. Guess what? I've been fighting for 1 year and 7 months and I'm still going strong. Miracles do happen and I plan on staying here to see my daughter marry. I'm 40 years old and have a zest to live life to the full and never give up. Life is so precious. We don't appreciate it until one second of your life has bad news: YOU HAVE CANCER! YOU HAVE 2 YEARS TO LIVE.

My best friend 'COSMO' has also kept me informed over the past one year and seven months. She has kept me positive and I can also enjoy the little pleasures in life I can only dream of. I wish I could have a full makeover, from my hair that is growing back now, to a breast I'm not allowed to reconstruct for 2 years, because of the high risk of my cancer. I would like a new breast, but will have to wait. I'm not sure if I want to take the chance, yet I feel like a zombie when I see this terrible long scar from the middle of my chest to under my armpit. Only someone in my predicament will understand. I wish all the cancer patients, survivors and everyone fighting a terrible disease, best of luck. Keep strong and stay positive.

Miracles do happen!

Lots of love and hugs.

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Mon, 17 Sep 2012 12:00 +0200
When a Friend Becomes a Follower http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/when-a-friend-becomes-a-follower
So I confronted her in a good way. We sat down and talked. She was really emotional but then told me because her parents like me so much and she struggles to get approval, she thought that if she became more like me, she'd get their approval! So thanks to the article - I saved a depressed friend - if I didn't see it, I would've never have confronted her and I would've kept on feeling flattered by her actions.

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Mon, 20 Aug 2012 12:00 +0200
Keeping It Steamy http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/keeping-it-steamy
One night, my boyfriend asked me what I consider to be the cutest question ever and it was during a heated moment in bed. He asked me, 'Babe, have you got the new COSMO?' To which I replied 'No', as I hadn't been to the shops. In return, I asked him why he wanted to know. His reply took me back but made me love him more. He said 'Oh, I was just asking because I wanted to see if they had any new sex positions for us to try or any advice articles we could read together...' Well, I thought it was fantastic that he values COSMO advice. He takes it, reads it cover-to-cover and is always eager to please thereafter. So thank you COSMO for helping to keep it steamy in the bedroom.

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Mon, 16 Jul 2012 12:00 +0200
It's Not Over Yet http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/its-not-over-yet
A year ago I was involved in a horrific skateboard accident. Having hurt my back and almost fracturing my spine, I had to quit hockey and became the school 'vegetable' as I couldn't participate in any sports. The kids mocked me and I felt miserable. I gained weight and lost all my self-confidence.

When I read this article I realised that I shouldn't allow my body take over my life and control it - I could do something about it. After this article I'm on the road to recovery, eating healthily and visiting the gym regularly to lose the weight I gained.

Thank you COSMO - you've rescued another isolated 16-year-old from self-destructing.

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Mon, 18 Jun 2012 12:00 +0200
Create Your Designer Feelings http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/create-your-designer-feelings
After my first heartbreak someone said, you're not the first to suffer such rejection or pain. Cold and uncalculated as that may have sounded then... as I grew older and wiser, I realised she was right. Reading the lyrics of some songs you have your 'Aaaahaa' moment (as per Oprah) and you realise it's not just me. The pain the lyrics of a breakup song (male or female) notes of the same pain, with different degrees, but the same emotion...

Creating ones own designer feelings isn't always easy, but well worth the paper it is written on. Life is too short (cliché I know, but true) to grieve with negativity and the worst truth yet is the longer you wallow, you isolate the people closest to you... and the cold fact is no one stands around passing the tissues after a certain point. This is for everything from self doubt, insecurities, breakups and death. There's a breaking point when you have to pick up the pieces of what's left and breathe in the fact that you have servived and can, will, and must go on. This comes from someone who has had
it all - office dramas, disappointing relationships, death and illness.

It was refreshing to see someone tackle such topics. I've seen friendships, family and relationships waste away, cause someone to spend longer than needed looking at the closed door to enjoy the new door, with what IS and WAS still available to them. It's quite sensitive really, as each person has different levels of pain and healing time needed, but one thing is for sure... there is an expiry date on the negative. We just have to watch for it and choose to draw the line, bounce back and take the bull by the horns and face the new with the good memories of the past, learn from the negative, move forward with a loved one who is here to support.

P.S. Thank heavens we're not in the 1980s where they banned and tried to re-ban you. Who would give such valuable advice to all at a fraction of the price it costs to buy those self-help books? And you always, always refer readers to professionals should there be a need for deeper inspections into our frets & fears - thank you!

Well enough. Thank you for your articles this month.

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Mon, 21 May 2012 12:00 +0200
The Nail Files http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/the-nail-files
Friday night my nails were glitter and glam to fit my cocktail dress and Saturday my nails were trendy and blended well with my jeans and sunglasses. Sunday my nail art was cute as a button and grabbed the attention of many. Needless to say, I now have a nail art addiction and a new hobby.

Cosmopolitan translates what is relevant to a savvy female audience. It is a well balanced read that is never boring. Thank you for adding some colour to my life!


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Mon, 16 Apr 2012 12:00 +0200
Time To Totally Kick Ass http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/time-to-totally-kick-ass
However, I've been procrastinating the whole exercise and eating healthy ritual. Obviously I realise that this would be for my own benefit, but somehow I could never stick to the "I'll start tomorrow morning" phrase (which I think most of us know pretty well).

After reading your article 'Little ways to kick ass' from April 2012 (pg 76), I just felt completely energised to get off my ass and actually kick ass! I've definitely got the right personality, now all I need to work on is my attitude and be more inspired and motivated :) Why say "I'll start tomorrow", if I can do it now? As was said in the movie White Chicks: "Triple T.K.A --> TIME TO TOTALLY KICK ASS"

Thank You Cosmo for an absolutely kickass magazine!

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Mon, 16 Apr 2012 12:00 +0200
Friends For Life http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/friends-for-life
I realised that, I too, must have been at some point a person who entered and exited, and to others, a person who stayed and became a friend for life. How interesting it was to weigh up how I have grown and how others have grown in friendships. Some grew apart, as many grew with me. This was truly the answer to the questions of why we did not stay in touch, why I had left some people in the past as I moved forward in life and why I still think of them fondly.

I appreciated the 'Friendship Management' section and will hold this advice dear to my heart, as I now know how to treasure the truly amazing friendships I share.

Thank you COSMO - as you are a friend to all women and thank you to the wonderful friends in my life!

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Mon, 19 Mar 2012 12:00 +0200
The Intern-ettes http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/the-intern-ettes
Thank you COSMO team for the incredible work and ever so refreshing news. I have been struggling with money and finding a good internship, so when the chance came I used the money to buy this month's COSMOPOLITAN and didn't realise how much it would lift my spirits and give me the inspiration to view my situation differently. I truly enjoyed this edition and have kept it in my handbag, since the article on 'The Intern-ettes' (February 2012) helped me so much. And of course, one can never stray away from fashion. Words cannot explain the way this mag has opened my eyes and not to mention, kept me busy. Valentine's just passed me by.

Anyway, I'm currently volunteering with the Red Cross and about to start my own book club. Yay! (Sneaky sociable savings). Thank you so much for the inspiration and for opening my eyes to My Plan B. I have decided to continue studying and currently I am a newsreader for a community radio station, which I enjoy very much.

Thanks once again and I can't wait for the next edition.

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Mon, 19 Mar 2012 12:00 +0200
A Lesson About HIV http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/a-lesson-about-hiv question that struck me was 'How many of us are infected daily by our selfish, bitter partners? I have so much respect for that guy who is so protective of his partner.

People are so scared to disclose their HIV status because they foresee rejection, but this article opened my eyes. HIV is not the end of the world - it just becomes part of our lives.

Let us love and support one another. It really begins with you.

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Mon, 20 Feb 2012 12:00 +0200
Love Your Body http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/love-your-body
The story of Ayanda Dladla - she has really inspired me in a big way. I got burnt by hot water when I was a baby and now have burn marks on my right shoulder and on the right side of my forehead. I only do hairstyles that cover the burnt area and I don't wear short sleeves because I don't feel comfortable. You will never see me with my real hair. But now am going to wear my short sleeves and vests and reveal my head thanks to you people.

Thank you.

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Mon, 20 Feb 2012 12:00 +0200
Homesick, But Happy http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/homesick-but-happy
The pang of homesickness throughout the past year living and working in London could at times be quite unbearable but fellow 'Saffers' and I have figured out a few day-to-day cures; the South African Radio iPhone app, the easily accessible South African store at London Bridge station, the secret satisfaction in seeing Savannah Dry stocked at the Sainsbury's or city pub, or the impressive Oscar Pistorius in a number of the Olympic sponsors' advertising campaigns.

In spite of the proven effectiveness of these cures, waking up to the Sexiest SA Men calendar every morning has to be undeniably the best (and most pleasing to the eye) reminder of home. A girlfriend and I made sure we packed the 2011 calendars when we first came over to keep us company for the year ahead, so for the 2012 calendar we went to the extent of proactively bribing a friend in October to get us the coming year's calendar while he visited home over Christmas.

To finally receive the precious cargo on New Year's Eve could only mean 2012 was already off to a great start. Thank you for the amazing calendar and reminder of home! And a VERY special thank you for Mr. April.

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Mon, 16 Jan 2012 12:00 +0200
The Complete Guide To Not Giving A F**k http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/the-complete-guide-to-not-giving-a-fk
As far as I'm concerned, my opinion on me is the only one that counts and my friends and family are the only other people who matter. The best thing anyone can do is grow a backbone. People may judge you, but they'll respect you for it. I decided this a long time ago, but Julien's article reaffirmed it. And you know what? I've become f**king awesome for it!

PS: Don't like my opinion? I don't really give a f**k :)

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Mon, 16 Jan 2012 12:00 +0200
The Food Fix http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/the-food-fix
I want to succeed so badly in life, but just can't seem to get anywhere. I have even considered suicide (BAD, I KNOW). I'm so embarrassed. I have tried every diet and try to control my eating, but after a week I'm always back at square one! I am now going to get the help I need and get my life back on track. Thank you so much for the article 'Is Food Your Fix?' (December 2011). It really helped me realise what the problem really is.

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Mon, 19 Dec 2011 12:00 +0200
The Pretty Girl http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/the-pretty-girl
My sister, who is now married, is still trying her luck and making hurtful comments. But I'm better than that and I'm not going to let it get me down! I'm sexy and I know it and I'm proud of it! Thanks for the great mag guys - keep up the good work!

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Mon, 19 Dec 2011 12:00 +0200
Bleeding Miracles! http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/bleeding-miracles
Thanks to this month’s article, 'Bleeding Miracles!' (November 2011), I know better and at least I know now that it might be a sign of endometriosis, which can lead to infertility. I will surely take the advice given and go see a gynaecologist!

Thanks COSMO for this great article!

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Mon, 21 Nov 2011 12:00 +0200
How Bad Is Your FOMO? http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/how-bad-is-your-fomo
I was no longer the friend they called to enjoy a great night out because I of course couldn't drink and most of all I had the belly that no one wanted to answer to. I sat at home crying, went depressed for weeks because I felt alone and was experiencing the worst kind of social abandonment. Everyone was out having a good time and I was stuck with my pregnant omegas and the TV. It wasn't until I read your article and got inspired to lift myself up and take this opportunity to focus on me. Good times and great nights will always come around and, anyway, I have something greater than all of that brewing in me; I have a life that I'll be able to focus on.

So bye bye tears and depression, I know I'm strong enough to live without the late nights and aching heels... I just look in the mirror, hold my belly and thank the great Man upstairs for all the joy he's brought me.

Thank you COSMO :)

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Mon, 21 Nov 2011 12:00 +0200
Sexy Shoes http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/sexy-shoes
So I left feeling not that the shoes weren't for me but perhaps there's a better pair somewhere else! The next week on my way to work, my shoes got soaked through in the rain and I ended up buying those summer sandals eventually. Which leads me to my next saying: that some things are just meant to be even if it is just shoes! So thank you for all those discounted vouchers COSMO!

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Mon, 24 Oct 2011 12:00 +0200
Mind Gym http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/mind-gym
I start with the ed's letter, even though I've enjoyed all 97 of the editorial articles I have read since joining the COSMO family. The October issue ed's letter hit home, I've always dated gym-obsessed men, rugby players and models. The relationships never lasted. I grew up chubby and when I got to varsity the weight fell off. Now I'm a stunning 32, but it took a lot of time to realise that I'm beautiful and that all of these men didn't care.

I finally stopped over-compensating and I'm dating a man who is a little round. We met at gym and now we compare 'battle scars' (stretch marks) and have amazing chemistry. Thank you for such an inspiring editorial...

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Mon, 24 Oct 2011 12:00 +0200
Love a Little More http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/love-a-little-more
I am 28 years of age and married to a guy ten years my senior. We will be married for nine years come January 2012 (God willing) and during the first year of my marriage, I decided to make myself and hubby each a memory box (made out of old shoe boxes, covered in lush wrapping paper). These boxes would hold a collection of all the letters, cards and gifts we have ever exchanged (if they fit the box of course). One day when we are old and grey we hope to sit on our porch reminiscing about our 'younger' days… :)

So, after reading the editor's letter, I decided to take a quick peek into my personal 'treasure trove' - just for fun, and stumbled upon a poem I felt the need to share with you. I have to say that at the time of writing this; my husband (who is really is not the type of person to bear his feelings) and I were not yet married - so it is really special to me.

I hope my sharing will move the Cosmo team to, once again, continue to influence its readers to be a little more romantic and to LOVE A LITTLE more... :)

'Without You'


In your absence
My life is all a stammer
Hunted down
By a non-existent tomorrow

Without you…
My earth suffers a demise of colours,
As when a guest leaves a house at night,
The light goes out

In your absence
I dwell restless
In search of passion
Only you can give

Without you
My body sings a song of remorse
As if dead
Without your touch

In your absence
Borne on the wings of incessant fears
I whisper to the lonely night
Does she love me, does she love me?

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Mon, 19 Sep 2011 12:00 +0200
Not Alone http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/not-alone
I didn't have sex until I was 21 - not that it was a problem - but I couldn't even explore. I always thought guys would laugh at me and find me weird. Thanks to your article 'I Decided To Have Labiaplasty' (September 2011), I realised I wasn't alone and I wasn't a weirdo after all and for the first time in years I looked at myself in the mirror naked, only to find the only thing weird about me was the shining and glowing of the happy me inside shining on the outside. For that, I will always be thankful to COSMO :)

You guys will never really realise how much help you've been to me and other girls out there of all ages. Every month, all year round, you continue to reinforce and validate how fun and fearless we all are in our different ways, shapes, sizes and colours :)

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Mon, 19 Sep 2011 12:00 +0200
Bigger Is More Beautiful http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/bigger-is-more-beautiful
It's great that real woman with realistic shapes are being featured in fashion. Hopefully, it's the beginning of a revolution in fashion. Bigger really is more beautiful!

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Tue, 16 Aug 2011 12:00 +0200
Finding Love After Rape http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/finding-love-after-rape
Reading her article honestly made my heart smile! She is such an inspiration to so many people! When I first read her article and joined her group of support on Facebook I thought how sad and how unfair.

How does someone live through this! And now to see she has had a happy ending is so lovely. I wish her all the best for her future, which is looking brighter and brighter.

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Tue, 16 Aug 2011 12:00 +0200
Riri Inspiration http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/riri-inspiration
It's always inspiring to read about Rihanna and reading 'It's Tougher For Me To Be Vulnerable Than Tough' was interesting. Ever since she started her career, the only way for Riri to go has always been to the top. I hope she sustains her career for many more years to come so she can inspire more aspiring young women.

Thanks COSMO for covering such an informative article about Riri's maturity. It's good to hear that she has managed to pick up the pieces and is now focusing on her career. Can't wait to watch her first movie next year. Way to go, Riri.

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Tue, 12 Jul 2011 12:00 +0200
The Other Side http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/the-other-side
Thank you guys for the article 'What It Feels Like To Fall In Love With Your Best Friend's Boyfriend' (July 2011). It was an eye-opener for me to read 'the other girl's' side.

My best friend and I had gone through the exact same situation about two years ago and it ended our friendship of 14 years. After she had done it to me, I never gave her a chance to tell me her side. We hadn't spoken for two years and although I missed her, my anger over that feeling was too much and I held it all back.

I called her recently to speak after reading this article, heard her story and felt better! They are still together to this day and slowly but surely, thanks to Ayanda* voicing herself in the article, I'm going to work through our issues and rebuild our friendship.

Thanks guys!

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Tue, 12 Jul 2011 12:00 +0200
Break Free From 'Should' http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/break-free-from-should
Wow, your article 'Break Free From Should' (May 2011) was, well, AWESOMELY liberating!

For some reason, despite all the voting rights, management positions and big pay cheques, women are still in some ways slaves to society's expectations. Let's take my life as an example: I am 23 years old, the proud owner of a B.Sc. Degree in Dietetics, live independently, am slowly paying off my massive study loan and can wire a plug by myself. And yet, for a long time I've felt sort of like a failure.

You'll never guess why! Because I have NEVER been in a serious relationship. As in EVER. And all I could think about for the last few years was: I SHOULD have met some-one by now right?!? Thanx to your article, I now know the answer to that question is NO! Since then, I replaced all the 'shoulds' in my mind, with 'I'd love to…' and if I feel it doesn't fit, I forget about it.
So finally, I am completely content with my life! Even if it means spending the 24th birthday of my life single :)

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Wed, 15 Jun 2011 12:00 +0200
Women Under Fire http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/women-under-fire
I just loved reading 'Women Under Fire' (June 2011). It really goes to show that females are not all fun, but also a fearless force in this world.

These brave, intelligent and confident women make me proud to be a woman today. It affirms that woman can get the job done, and anyone who believes different should walk a mile in these lady's shoes.

You inspire me to be a better woman than I can be. I commend you on your bravery.

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Wed, 15 Jun 2011 12:00 +0200
Reinvention! http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/reinvention
I love, love, love the new look COSMO, it's like my friend just got a hot new haircut! And COSMO sure is keeping up with the digital world; www.cosmopolitan.co.za is my favourite for some real time gossip and the article about the 25 Top Twitter Queens (May 2011) inspired me to sign up and start tweeting so that I might join their ranks one day.

COSMO, thanks for keeping it fresh and giving me the scoop in so many different forms. Now I just need an iPad to download the digital mag, aaaahh, a girl can dream, can't she?

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Fri, 20 May 2011 12:00 +0200
Sort Yourself Out http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/sort-yourself-out
I want to say a very big thank you and well done on your 'Our COSMO World' in the May issue! Your last sentence 'You may not be the girl for anyone until you've sorted yourself out' really touched home, and I'm so happy that it could be said so clearly and honestly.

So many times we hear that 'there are other fish in the sea', or 'he wasn't the one for you', and a whoooole long list of other excuses that make us believe that the next one will be better... But the reality is that we need to look at ourselves first! We need to love ourselves, trust ourselves, cherish ourselves, etc before anyone else can, and before we can feel those feelings towards anyone else!

Like the Oriah Mountain Dreamer poem The Invitation says: 'I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.'

So here's to everyone finding their balance within *cheers* =)

Thanks for the great mag!

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Fri, 20 May 2011 12:00 +0200
Resilience http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/resilience
After reading April's COSMO, I feel better. COSMO was literally my ray of sunshine in this cold sterilised environment. Autumn fashion excited me. Olivia Wilde inspired me. Hot Men, Vile Habits amused me. And upon contemplating whether to put on some concealer before my colonoscopy, 'Can You Be Addicted To Makeup?' nipped that notion in the bud.

Thank you COSMO for equipping me with tools of optimism and hope and reminding to keep being strong, sexy, and oh so cool!

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Fri, 08 Apr 2011 12:00 +0200
Totally Fabu-less! http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/totally-fabu-less
I'm a 'perfect' size 10 and have the usual concerns about my body: cellulite, wobbly thighs, etc, but I'm happy with my size - I work out for health reasons, not weight-loss. Even so, I was blown away when I realised the model I was staring at looked nothing like the norm. She looks hot, hot, hot in the Errol Arendz LBD; proof that we don't need skinny girls to make clothes look good or 'present well' as many magazine and fashion editors often proclaim.

This is such a big step - even bigger than showing us that all models and celebs are photo-shopped. I'm truly happy with this development. You guys have always been pioneers in your niche, so though I'm reluctant to buy the magazine, now that I'm at a different place in my life and find it hard to relate to much of the content. COSMO raised me from the age of 14, I followed much of the advice and now have almost everything many of your core readers are searching for. I know that sounds a little snobbish - I don't mean for it to be. I still consider you the Number 1 glossy in SA.

Thank you for your bravery - Vanessa you are a champion - and courage. Well done to your fashion team for kicking the ass of the status quo. This is too awesome for words; I'm so happy and so proud, I'm BBMing all my friends to get the latest issue. You guys truly rock, keep up the good (and sincere) work! This is fantastic!!!

Viva COSMO!!!

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Fri, 08 Apr 2011 12:00 +0200
Balance The Scales http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/balance-the-scales
I was specifically drawn to the article 'Balance The Scales' (March 2011) because, like most women, I have had a weight issue since my teen years, and now, in my last year of my '20s, I have reached a point of giving up! Although there are numerous medical issues that contribute to my fluctuating weight, I couldn't help but feel intimidated by the girls in the swimsuit and weight loss ads.

I know that some of the glamorous pictures have been photo-shopped or air-brushed, but it doesn't help much when I stand on the scale or look at the 'spare-wheel' around my waist! Don't get me wrong, I am not obese... but looking at those ads, I sure feel obese.

I few months ago, I decided to accept my fate, thus loving my weight... but not without a fight! I joined the gym, got a personal trainer to advise me on the best way to reform the areas of concern, went to see a dietitian and got an eating plan to help me out. And I am pleased to say that it is helping me. And NO, I am not unrealistic about how many inches or kilograms I have to lose, I am just enjoying the energy gained from knowing that what I eat is good for me (and all my issues), and gym… well, gym was painful in the beginning, but now it is a stress reliever and so much fun.

Reading your article and the ladies that made that same conscious decision served as reassurance for me that I made the right decision and I am creating a lifestyle, not a quick fix. Because heaven knows, I have tried every quick fix on the market! The saddest part about us ladies is that we want to lose weight for all the wrong reasons and by the time we realise it and after the damage caused by all the pills (emotional and physical), it's almost too late to start again! Even when our partners love us just the way we are, marry us with all our spare wheels, if we don't love how we look, we are deaf to their praises in those jeans or that flattering dress! I wear my semi-full figure dress with pride, and when my dearest compliments me, I know he means it... because if he didn't, he wouldn't be around as long as he has and he could have gone and found himself a 'model figure' years ago.

I am grateful for this article. Let the ladies know that it is mind over matter. Love who you are, be confident (just like your ladies in the article) and change to be healthier. Let your thoughts become your words and eat healthier meals... it does wonders for your self-esteem, your relationship and your waist!

From a grateful heart and body…

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Tue, 15 Mar 2011 12:00 +0200
Code Red http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/code-red
By this time my aunt's head injury was bleeding uncontrollably because of the van bouncing and pounding its way on the gravel road. When they reached the hospital, it took them half an hour to offload her to a ward. They couldn't supply her with any pain pills (according to the nurse it was all stolen).

My uncle died on the scene and my aunt was now lying in a huge amount of pain and still having to cope with the loss of her husband. And the hospital has nothing to give her to just take away the pain or to make her sleep or something?

We then decided to take her to a private hospital. It was much more expensive but your life is much more valuable than money could ever be. I don't think it is easy working in these hospitals, having to see these people dying and not being able to do your job because the medicines you need are not available or have been stolen. These people risk their lives to save lives everyday and I think the government should wake up and provide these miracle workers with the safety and security that they need and deserve.

Thanks for the inspiring article, we don't always hear these things, but it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It is a reality and I wish we could do more to help these people in need.

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Tue, 15 Mar 2011 12:00 +0200
Just Do It! http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/just-do-it
It's been almost a year now and I'm getting seriously bored, so much so that I'd rather do other meaningless things on the Internet than my actual work. And then I got called in for a written warning. I got a scare, it went better, and then it just got worse again. They called me in a second time to tell me to reconsider if I really want to work there. And I realised I had delayed looking for another job because I fell in that 'easy-rut'. The 'I-will-look-for-something-else-when-the-time-comes' type of thinking. And your article made me realise: now is the time.

Thanks for opening my eyes again and making me realise the wicked truth about procrastination.

PS: Keep up the most awe-inspiring mag in SA!

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Tue, 15 Feb 2011 12:00 +0200
Body Love http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/body-love
Now being a few months shy of 24, I love the idea behind the Body Love section. I think from all my stacks of COSMO's, the one thing that I have loved, aside from the witty and thought-provoking articles, is the appreciation of me – shape and all.

I too went through a phase of wanting to fit in to that 'perfect' African body shape and actually started devising ways of altering my shape to fit that mould. Reading Upfront Woman's (love her work) view on fuller breasts and the beautiful models who appeared in fashion spreads looking so very sexy and comfortable with their full chests, I now proudly parade mine – in good taste of course, and let it rub off on my fellow big breasted – or rather my fellow, amazingly and uniquely-shaped women.

From the bottom of my heart and with the self-imposed-responsibility of passing on the tradition to my sister who just finished Matric, I would love to extend all my love and much respect to the team behind the wonderful creation that is COSMOPOLITAN magazine - with a raised cranberry COSMO glass in hand: THANK YOU.

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Tue, 15 Feb 2011 12:00 +0200
Braai School http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/braai-school
Your article 'Braai School For Girls' was a saving grace! I had read it, not knowing that I would be going away the following weekend, and had subconsciously stored all the information of that article. A last-minute 'girls' weekend away' was planned and low and behold, the first night, we were faced with the daunting question of 'Who was going to braai for us girls!?'

That's when it struck me: I had read in the COSMO, your COSMO, about how to braai! I was totally amped. Needless to say, it was the first time I had ever braaied and it turned out amazingly! And to think all I knew about braaing was based on a vague image of my dad braaing, combined with the knowledge of 'braai chicken first (20 minutes)'.

I must add that a guy braaied for us the following night… and it failed! I felt super! It was an awesome experience and I would just like to thank COSMO for such an epic article. 2011 is going to be amazing. Fresh out of school, I think I need to learn how to change a tyre…

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Tue, 15 Feb 2011 12:00 +0200
Don't Drown In Debt http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/dont-drown-in-debt
Debt isn't that scary when you have the managerial tools in your arsenal...so perhaps there's hope for me and similar individuals! Everyone should be aware of how to manage debt as and when it arises - because financial instability is something whole countries can be affected by, and after all, a country is only as stable as its people isn't it?

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Wed, 12 Jan 2011 12:00 +0200
Oh Yes You Can! http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/oh-yes-you-can
After hospitals and rehabilitation, I have my independence back and am so excited as I bought the January 2011 issue as my first copy for almost two years. What's more exciting is all the paging is done by ME, with COSMO on my lap, with my knuckles going through page by page. At first, I thought it would bring back some memories and frustrate me, but it was so inspiring and motivating and reminds me that I am FUN, FEARLESS FEMALE.

Now I am physically challenged, but proud and still FFF!! Hope one day we will see fashion on wheelchair models as I still do my shopping at Truworths, Woolworths, etc.

The article, 'Oh Yes You Can!' (January 2011) by Glynis Horning helped to pump me up. Big hug for COSMO, and I believe the best is yet to come.

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Wed, 12 Jan 2011 12:00 +0200
Achieve Your Dreams http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/achieve-your-dreams
COSMO's article titled 'Your End-of-Year Swot Analysis' (December 2010) wasn't a long article, and honestly, I skipped the article at first because I knew I would have to admit that not all the goals I set for myself were achieved this year. It took me a while but I gathered the courage to perform my very own swot analysis. I realised I am proud of myself for what I DID achieve this year: I was apart of the World Cup, I passed my driver's license test, bought my first car and I chose to take the plunge and register for my honours degree. These goals weren't specifically career-related but they are still achievements I'm proud of. I encourage everyone to do this analysis in all areas of their lives. It can prove to be incredibly enlightening.

The career goals that didn't turn into a reality are on my list for 2011 and I've certainly learnt from my mistakes. This time I'm doing it differently and I am confident that this time I will be successful.

Thank you COSMO for helping me to take the first step to what I hope will be a successful career!

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Tue, 14 Dec 2010 12:00 +0200
Torn In Two http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/torn-in-two
You see, I'm a 26 year old, I'm intelligent, successful, sexy and have an awesome social life and I've also been married for two years to an amazing, attractive, very successful and intelligent man who treats me like a goddess. My life truly seems perfect, yet I've been having an affair for the past 16 months - with a guy that in no way compares to my husband.

This affair has ruined my life, the secrets I keep from even my closest friends have made me anti-social and due to the nature of the affair I've become insecure, needy, bitchy, jealous and just, plainly put - psychotic. All qualities I've NEVER understood and pitied in other women.

And the more distant the other guy becomes, the deeper I sink into depression, the bigger the void he leaves, the more I turn to excessive drinking and drugs. My self-destructive partying ways have also further alienated my friends and family as they don't understand why I'm behaving this way and can only see the dramatic change in my personality.

Despite the fact that I could clearly see the impact this affair was having on my life, I was unable to walk away - oh, I've tried but failed miserably every time.

And the more he sees my powerlessness, the more he plays God with my life, because he's realised that I'm not going anywhere. He's turned into an absolute 'a-hole', constantly cancelling our dates and flaunting all the other girls running after him.

When he started pursuing me, I was the 'hot girl' in the club, who wouldn't give someone like him the time of day, now I'm a shadow of that cool, confident person.

How the hell did this happen? I think I've finally found that answer, after reading your article.

I never felt – sorry, this is going to sound so clichéd - good enough. Sad, but true. I always felt that men were only interested in having sex with me and that once they got to know the real me, they run for the hills. Because I believed that my personality, well, sucks. And I couldn't understand why my husband loved me the way he does. Is he lying to me? Would he ever have gone out with me if it wasn't for looks?

And that is why I turned to a guy who treats me like crap, pays no attention, except sexually, to me and makes me feel worthless.

I now understand why I could never stay away from him for too long, I actually believed that it was love, but after seeing this on paper and reading your article, I feel like an idiot.

Thank you for waking me and pointing me in the right direction again!

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Tue, 14 Dec 2010 12:00 +0200
Soul Searching http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/soul-searching
It is not always about changing for somebody else but instead it is a process of becoming the best person that you can be. I am a self- confident, cut throat woman and I believe in standing up for what you believe in and to not allow others' opinions of you to bring you down, but this article has made me realise the importance of not just speaking your mind, but also listening to what others have to say about you because it can only lead to growth in your relationships and self! Some soul searching might be in order once in a while.

Thank you COSMO for once again sharpening my senses.

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Tue, 14 Dec 2010 12:00 +0200
Lose The Excuses http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/lose-the-excuses
This article helped me come to a harsh realisation that the only person who was losing out on a better life was me. I have now started walking briskly every day before work and exercising in my living room in the evenings. I have started eating rye bread and healthy carbs and have lots of fruit, veggies and water instead of my usual daily caffeine and sugar indulgences. I have also been using my collection of COSMO magazines for exercises, meal options and healthy alternatives. I have lost 2 kilograms in two weeks and it wasn't even hard - I feel great. I am so excited for my new journey of life and can't wait for my future. Thanks COSMO for giving me a kick up the backside because I really need one.

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Fri, 19 Nov 2010 12:00 +0200
Smart Tips http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/smart-tips
Reading 'Love News: The Five Smartest Tips We've Heard This Year' (November 2010), I took a step back and analysed my unhappy marriage. 'Have This Conversation' really assisted me in taking on a new approach, discussing issues together and bringing back our fun love we shared! Instead of bottling up things, I find it easier to chat with my hubby and resolve any issues quickly and with ease.

Thank you COSMO for turning my life around and bouncing back to happiness!

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Fri, 19 Nov 2010 12:00 +0200
Kitchen Confidential http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/kitchen-confidential
I run my own restaurant and it's an exhausting business. I don't want to go to a restaurant, cook or see a cookbook on days off. And since I have a very considerate boyfriend, he offered to do the cooking one day. After my day's paper work was done, I went to his place. The tantalising aroma of the food was amazing and as I opened the door, he was standing there in the nude with only an apron on. Food forgotten... mmmm. It was definitely not the cooking that made me aroused, it was the presentation.

Nevermind getting her into bed, Edgar, the kitchen counter, coffee table, floor... works just as well!

That night, I climbed into bed with the October COSMO, read Edgar's article and couldn't stop laughing.

Well done.

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Fri, 19 Nov 2010 12:00 +0200
Bunnies Vs. Lionesses http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/bunnies-vs-lionesses
Growing up in the country of the Northern Cape, I struggled to cope in Cape Town, working and surrounded by human lionesses. As a social worker, my field of work is being a advocate for others on a daily basis and I tend to fear my position, but Vanessa Raphaely made me realise it's who I am, something to be proud of.

So, I'll embrace being a human bunny and when the situation needs me to embrace a lioness approach, I'll try my best.

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Thu, 21 Oct 2010 12:00 +0200
Make Your Mark http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/make-your-mark
But what really blew me away in this month’s edition is the 'Your 21st Century Legacy: How To Make Your Mark'. OMG! This article really gave meaning to my week and to the rest of the year. I guess I felt like I had to make something out of this week, change something, or be in control of something, and that this week was the going to be the week of all weeks. After reading that article, I got a hang of what I need to do for me - something that I usually procrastinate and never really get to do. I felt like lady luck pushed me the direction of purchasing this copy, because as soon I paged through it… BAM! All my objectives were laid out for me, all the articles that I mentioned each played a huge role.

So, like in the article 'Your 21st Century Legacy: How To Make Your Mark', this email is an encouragement to COSMO. I am simply recognising and complimenting your great work! Looking forward to the next issue...

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Thu, 21 Oct 2010 12:00 +0200
Blitz-Attack Lover http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/blitz-attack-lover
I had a similar experience to Kim*. I was wined and dined with the pretence that our relationship was amazing. I had been hurt before, so I wasn't looking for another relationship. I didn't ever want to feel how I did before. After the intensity from 'the blitz guy', I was hook, line and sinker. We saw each other every day, but he was always reluctant to meet my friends and family. Next minute, completely out of the blue, he told me it was becoming too intense, too fast. I was crushed. It took me extremely long to get over him.

Reading your article, I now understand that I shouldn't blame myself and it wasn't me who messed up this 'perfect' relationship. Thank you for giving me my strength again. I'm going to move forward with confidence.

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Thu, 21 Oct 2010 12:00 +0200
Bad Hair Day? http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/bad-hair-day
I was taken aback by how I related to some of the articles. The one that got my attention the most is 'More Than a Bad Hair Day?' (September 2010).

As an Indian girl, growing up around the stereotypical Bollywood bombshell's idea of dark, straight and shiny hair was quite a challenge, especially when those were the exact opposite characteristics of my hair. Having curly, coarse and frizzy hair posed many bad hair days! Numerous treatments later, I found my cure. The ghd provided me with the opportunity to have straight, shiny and soft hair, which could transform my identity completely.

Besides the dent in my wallet, I often consider the thought of having African hair and being able to change my hairstyle on a weekly basis is quite exciting. And let's face, I wouldn't mind slipping on a wig after a rough night - apart from the pain of course!

Reading the article inspired me to write to you and share with you my thoughts. Hair plays a vital role in our personalities, as well as boosting our self esteem. Oddly enough, my naturally curly, frizzy hair compliments my crazy, wild and optimistic personality!

Regardless of what your hair type is, you should learn to love what you have because in the end it makes you exactly who you are!

Thanks for always sending out an amazing issue! Keep it up! I look very forward to reading many more in the years to come!

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Thu, 21 Oct 2010 12:00 +0200
Driving Miss Daisy http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/driving-miss-daisy
When I had to take her to the garage to fix a few things, she refused to start, pretending her almost new battery is flat. She had a funny noise in the engine, but every time I ask a male to drive her and try and figure out what the noise is, she is as quiet as a mouse. I can go on and on about her and her ‘moods’, I just cannot imagine driving another car, and even if I win the Lotto.... I will only have her fixed up properly!

Thanks for an entertaining, helpful, useful and fun magazine!

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Mon, 13 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Spicy Stuff http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/spicy-stuff
I would really like to thank Bethany Heitman for her article ‘99 Spicy Sex Bits.’ Boy, does this add to a menu that almost became mundane or routine!

In an age like the one we live in today, we are all stressed out and bogged down with work and life in general. There is no time to honestly sit and think up ways to bring, or rather, take you back to the beginning when you couldn’t keep your hands of each other!

Life happens while you are making other plans and before you know it, that part of you is growing cold. It’s not easy to balance all the balls in the air. And coming across an article like this - short and sweet and yet containing dynamite! It makes it all possible!

The stress at the office leaves both of us tired and sometimes we even bring work home. All you want to do when you come home is sleep. You fall asleep cuddling. I know it sounds sad and boring, but it’s true. Once or twice a week seems like a dream. But with quick easy tips like this, I even have the energy to send this e-mail. I had to, as we have just tried one of the ’99 Spicy Sex Bits’ and it reminded us of the times when we couldn’t wait to get home.

Guess when my alarm is set for now? 3am. Please thank Bethany for me and tell her she is a star for igniting my imagination again! I am sure many couples go through the lull and I was afraid if I didn’t do something soon, it would kill the fire! Now, I have 99 bits to try - reminding me of the fire that I know is still there.

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Mon, 13 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Oh So Sexy! http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/oh-so-sexy
Although the fashion industry has never had the best rep for its models and the influences they have on our women and young girls, it makes me very happy to see a more natural, normal and ‘relate-able’ woman on your pages. Well done on a giant leap forward, I hope it means there is more of this to come.

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Mon, 13 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Risking Labels http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/risking-labels
After the hardships of the last few years, I was in the deepest pit of depression. I had insomnia and anxious thoughts about my future. But I can finally see my feet through the gloom!

I recently had a frightening realisation that I had lost touch with myself completely. For years I went by on autopilot, defining myself through the assumptions of other people. I had even lost touch with my body, ignoring its complaints and silencing it with destructive habits instead.

For the last few months, I have actively made some drastic changes in my life and I have even started falling in love - with myself! It’s truly liberating to risk it, taking the plunge into the unknown, and thereby losing all preconceptions and labels. Besides, I don't believe it’s possible to have a healthy relationship with anyone until you’re truly accepting of yourself… whoever that may be.

Thanks again for the inspiration.

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Mon, 13 Sep 2010 12:00 +0200
Sweatiquette http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/sweatiquette
I cannot agree more with you. When I go to gym I don’t look left or right, I get on the treadmill and I jog for 20 minutes straight listening to Adam Lambert on my phone. I go to gym to get a workout and to sweat off all the greasy food I eat during the week and yet, there are girls prancing around in barely-there outfits, smiling from ear to ear, having just applied their makeup and shiny lip gloss.

Guys sit on machines chatting up other girls while there is somebody else who wants to use the machine. I am at Planet Fitness and I love the fact that there is an all women section where you can gym and not care who sees you getting down on all fours, squatting and lifting your bum in the air for ab crunches. The sad part though is I am the only one who seems to use this section at night! It is nice and all, but come on, whether you’re skinny or not, people do not want to see you wearing a outfit fit for bed and they definitely do not want to see your flab jumping up and down all over the place.

I just wish people would go to gym for a workout and not to chat up guys/girls.

I hope some of the people that are guilty of this read this!

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Wed, 28 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Labour Pains http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/labour-pains
Everyday I would feel most energetic when I woke up in the morning, but when I got to work, I would feel exhausted by 10am. It made me feel miserable and I hated my job not to mention my ‘work space’. I made a copy of the ‘Ergonomics 101’, and pasted it on my workstation and each time I feel like switching off, I turn to it and see what it is that I need to do.

I gave each colleague of mine a copy and now we are all ‘working happily ever after’. I realised that it’s not the job that I do but it’s how I make use of the space that I work in.

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Wed, 28 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Heavy Load http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/heavy-load
I’m a varsity student studying with UNISA and I’m a partner with my mother in a restaurant. I’m working basically seven days a week every week from about 10am to 9pm (my mom has another business - she is a labour broker) and I’m trying to run the restaurant the best that I can, trying to find time to study in between and still help my mom out at the office.

After reading the ‘Successful But Depressed’ article in the June 2010 issue, I realised I’m seriously overloading myself - and already feeling ‘mentally exhausted’ by 19 will probably just lead me to a nervous breakdown. So, I have decided it’s time to do more things for me.

I’m trying not to get so worked up anymore, trying to manage my time better and leave work issues at work (although it’s very hard).

I would just like to thank COSMO for opening my eyes a bit and giving some awesome advice.

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Wed, 28 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Change Is Good http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/change-is-good
I can relate to Kelly in the sense of her always being compared to and always being in the shadow of Beyoncé. While growing up, I had a very beautiful friend who came from a rich family. I so wanted to be her and have everything she had. Not because I lacked anything, but because I was always being compared to her, even if it was not necessary; at school, by boys and friends. I was told I was pretty, but not as pretty as her. I was told I was intelligent, but not as intelligent as her. As much as I loved her as my friend, inside I was beginning to hate her, not because she did anything to me, but because I felt like I would never be good enough and would always be under her shadow. Sometimes I wished that she could re-locate or something, so that for a change, things can be about me, I can be the pretty one or the intelligent one that had the best phone at school. Guess what? We are young working ladies and I still feel like that.

Kelly said in the article: ‘There was still a bit of success but not what I wanted.’ The article further goes to state that: ‘So she’s making changes.....’

That hit me. I realise that I will never be happy if my happiness is benchmarked on someone else’s happiness. I realise that I will never be content in my life as long as I want my life to be like someone else’s life. For the first time in my life, I just did a hairstyle that she has never done before, that suits me and my features, and I look hot. The thing is, I would copy hairstyles that she would do because they looked good on her, and thinking that if I do the same, they would look good on me too, or even better than her.

It’s a long road to change, but I will take it a step at a time. My next step is to buy clothes that I like and that flatter me. I will stop buying clothes that she buys. I will also start jogging instead of going to gym. I hate the gym, it was never for me, but I just did it so I could be on her level. There are other things that I’m planning to change, but I will be taking it a step at a time.

Kelly has helped me start the process of appreciating myself and believing in myself. I have been inspired to deal with my own demons, before ‘I invite someone into all that’s going on’. I realise that I’m beautiful according to my own standards and as a first rate version of myself.

Thank you COSMO for giving me the confidence to come out of my shell....

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Wed, 28 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Scam Alert http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/scam-alert
We are shocked that and appalled that these scammers would abuse the COSMPOLITAN brand, and we sincerely apologise for any inconvenience or discomfort this may have caused our readers.

Please be aware that these individuals are in no way associated with COSMOPOLITAN or Associated Magazines. We will never ask you intimate questions telephonically; the only place we will request private information from you is in the form of online surveys on www.cosmopolitan.co.za.

Also, the only time you will receive a telephone call from us is to inform you that you have won one of our competitions.

We would like all readers to please be aware of this scam and not divulge sensitive information telephonically.

Once again, to the readers who have been subjected to this scam, we sincerely apologise.

Megan Kakora
COSMO Online Editor
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Tue, 27 Jul 2010 12:00 +0200
Cyber Minefield http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/cyber-minefield
Before long, I found myself flirting with them, having intimate virtual dances and an abundance of other activities, all the time telling myself it wasn’t me, it’s just my avatar, and that anything I did in the game was not me, it was just my alter ego, Opheliac, doing her thing. That was until my fiancé started getting uncomfortable with my interactions and the amount of time I was spending online chatting to my so-called ‘friends’. I also soon found myself confiding in them and ranting about my fiancé when he did something I wasn’t happy about and definitely not painting the picture of the abundant love I actually had for him. It was just too easy to type away. I suddenly found that I was talking to one of my guy friends outside of Second Life and had him on my MSN and Yahoo - we would chat at work, as well on Second Life – but it had stopped being a game and had moved into my real life.

It was soon after I got married and fell pregnant that I realised my innocent flirtations were not so innocent and that when I felt my fiancé wasn’t giving me enough attention, I ran to Second Life where my sexy alter ego was getting more than enough attention to satisfy my ego and own needy self. I nearly lost the man of my dreams to something or someone that I had never met and shared a couple of keystrokes with. Today, I am more aware of how I talk to people online and clearly state my limits and intentions before going further - and if they don’t like it – I don’t have to talk to them.
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Mon, 21 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Dream Job http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/dream-job
I dreaded days that I needed to walk to a manager and hand over my CV, and at interviews, I was even worse. If I didn’t start laughing, I would stutter so badly that no one could make out a word that I was saying.

At my last interview, (which happened to be a dream job I was applying for) I promised myself to stay calm and collected, and even if they did consider me right for the job, that I would persevere, even if it meant that I would have to go without a salary for a while and work as an unpaid rep. It just so happened that they did not want to appoint me, but when I asked them whether I could work for them, even if they did not pay me, they could not believe how badly I wanted this job, and in the end, they appointed me for it.

Thank you COSMO for giving me the confidence and motivation to land my dream job!
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Mon, 21 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Double D http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/double-d
I’m 22 and I, myself have a cup size of 32 DD and I know exactly how Taylor Roberts feels. I never get the right bra that gives me support, as well as the sexiness I would like to feel. Whenever I go bra shopping I dread it. I usually come out with a sour disposition because a retailer where I live (that would be Potchefstroom) never has my cup size, and if they do, it never fits me right. I’m not even going to mention swimwear, because I’ve never found one that fits me as it should. I usually end up wearing a 36.

My sisters and I have the same problem - although they have taken care of it. I still have the problem, and my boyfriend is no help at all! He believes in the saying ‘bigger is better’, and in this case, it definitely isn’t!

My back pain is so severe sometimes that I get migraines and I have to lie upside down of the edge of the bed to get rid of the pain in my back. I have always joked with my friends that one day when I make mine smaller I would give them some of mine. Girls with smaller breasts are far better off. I would give anything for a C-cup or even a D. But, being a student, that will only
happen one day when I get a job and I save for it.

Thanks for showing me I’m not the only female that would like to make her cup size smaller because all my guy and girlfriends don’t get it, especially not my boyfriend!
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Mon, 21 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Kinky Thoughts http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/kinky-thoughts
Never ever would I have guessed what women out there were thinking when it comes to sex. Not only do I feel normal and unafraid of my kinky thoughts and what I do in the bedroom, but I also realise that women out there are really speaking their minds and letting their men know what they want and when they want it.

It’s quite liberating to see that COSMO women all over the world are not afraid to experiment and not afraid to get the satisfaction that they deserve.

I say to all COSMO women out there: good for you for taking the survey and it’s about time all you liberated women start speaking up!

Long Live COSMO!
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Mon, 21 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Toad In The Hole http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/toad-in-the-hole
As a Jo’burg girl in my thirties, I’ve met a variety of pond life, and have noticed certain amphibians wreaking havoc. These are the toads in frog clothing. I have countless girlfriends who let toads take advantage of them in the most despicable fashion possible - cheating, abuse, and all sorts of slimy behaviour. And yet, because they’re in love with these men, they put up with their behaviour in spite of all the red flags, trusting that their love will eventually change their man. But it doesn’t.

So love your frogs, girls, but beware of the toads – don’t become the next fly on the lily pad!
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Mon, 21 Jun 2010 12:00 +0200
Getting Over Him http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/getting-over-him
We became friends and as much as I flirted, he flirted back but never actually made a move. Eventually I told him how I felt and he responded saying that he feels the same way but he is confused about another girl he met a year ago who is coming down from overseas to work with him.

I was devastated, however, a few days later we hooked up and he choose me. Everything was absolutely amazing. The stars shone brighter. I wanted to spend every minute with this fun, intelligent, adorable gentleman. We were perfect… until the girl arrived. He dumped me and told me we should still be friends.

I felt heartbreak for the first time in my life. I didn't understand how incredibly painful it could be, until it hit me so hard I could barely breathe. Everything that I was living for was swept out from under my feet and I could not imagine a life without him. What now? I did everything in my power to stay friends with him while I was pushing through the pain of trying to understand why he did not want to be with me. He told me he was happy the day before he left me. Until I found out he was dating her. He told me, after I screamed at him and told him I don't want anything to do with him, that he never left me for her and that he never lied to me.

Well, it has taken a long time to feel again and I read the article in the April issue of COSMO entitled ‘How To Get Over a Man.’ I was utterly amazed to see that I had gone through every step described in this article. I blamed myself and to an extent still do. I tried to understand his side of the story but he did lie to me and he left me for her. I have been depressed for a while now and the worst part is that I have to see them together everyday. I am being positive and focusing on work. I forced myself to go out with my friends and as much as I did not want to, it was great. I just wanted to thank you for showing me that my experience was not nearly out of the ordinary and it made things a lot easier when I finally realised that everyone goes through it and there will be someone better on the other side of the sadness and feeling of loss.

I will survive and I will be happy again without him in my life.
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Fri, 23 Apr 2010 12:00 +0200
Small-Pond Syndrome http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/small-pond-syndrome
I'm 30 years old, I've been working for five years and I've got two children. I desperately need a car because I work in Johannesburg and I'm from Durban. My children leave in different locations. My daughter stays in Pietermaritzburg and my son in Verulam. People who are familiar with Kwazulu-Natal will know how far away those two places are from each other.

Once or twice a month, I fly to Durban on Friday to see my kids because I work from Monday to Friday. If I fly on Friday night, there's no way I can go to Verulam or Pietermaritzburg on the same day. I'll have to wake up in the morning and take taxis to Pietermaritzburg and then back to Durban and take another taxi to Verulam and by that time, the day is gone! I'd have spent all of Saturday on the road and on Sunday I have to go back to Johannesburg.

So after reading the ‘Do You Have Small-Pond Syndrome?’ article (May 2010), I felt that I have outgrown the place I'm in and hate not having a car. I’ve made a decision and I’m sticking to it. I said to myself, for two months I'm not going to eat out. I will only pay for my accommodation and pay for my kids’ school fees until I get R10 000 for my car deposit.

Thank you COSMO for giving me the oomph!!!
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Fri, 23 Apr 2010 12:00 +0200
Know Your Place http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/know-your-place
So, finally I faced the issue head-on and we discussed it and he acknowledged that he understood me. But he still carried on! And for a long while (about two months), I thought that our relationship was over. I didn’t realise it until I read this article. Because he was my first big love and I was the one (after the nightmare ex-girlfriend), we were going to take the relationship to the next level and I believed for a long time that he would be my partner for the rest of my life.

Now I know that it was because of this that made it so hard to let him go. I feel like a part of me hasn’t as of yet - there is still that flicker of hope that he will come to his senses, but I don’t want to wait for that any longer. I realised that as much as you may be the one after the one, your partner might be the nightmarish one after the perfect one... so it is such a mess.

I love him and I will probably always love him, but loving him through everything made me realise that I have an enormous capacity to love and I love hard and passionately for a long time. I can wait for the next love to come into my life. I know that love is something that we should treasure, but if someone is not contributing to the positive values and happiness anymore, then we have to be brave enough to let him or her go.

I found out that knowing your place will enable you to better know the course of your relationship and determine whether you are on the same path or not.
I can safely say (from experience) that a relationship ends long before a break-up and that’s the difference between having a solid foundation to fix whatever has gone wrong or accept the loss and move on.
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Fri, 23 Apr 2010 12:00 +0200
The Ugly Truth http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/the-ugly-truth
I couldn’t stop laughing while reading ‘The Ugly Truth’ (April 2010). While the Upfront Woman articles have had me in stitches before, never have I read one that hit so close to home. I was in a long-term relationship with a beautiful man. I call it a relationship because only recently did I come to the realisation that what we had was more of an extended fling.

Yes, his being prettier than me was uncomfortable, but it was his lack of effort towards making the ‘relationship’ work that was the real bother. He expected me to be grateful when he made that odd phone call or rare appearance. Although I was the one to finally break things off, it wasn’t much me ending a relationship than it was me refusing to settle for less than I’m worth.
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Fri, 23 Apr 2010 12:00 +0200
Moving On http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/moving-on
Birth is a truly joyous and happy occurrence in our lives. Unfortunately, mine was short-lived. Just three days after having my baby, the most wonderful, caring and passionate person in my life passed away: my mum. She was the one whose example set my course to be a woman, wife and mum. When this happened, I shut myself off into a world of hurt and despair. I lost my passion to live and love.

Then, reading the article in COSMO made me realise that I needed to get out of this burrow of sorrow. Life was out there to be lived, loved and enjoyed with my family and friends. My husband needed a wife and my kids, a mother.

I said to myself: ‘Mourning is okay, but it's up to me to make the decision to challenge myself to be a fun, fearless, female.’

‘Move On,’ number 10 on COSMO’s last page; ‘How To Handle Criticism’ is now my daily mantra.

I owe my fresh pair of living-large eyes to COSMO.

Thanking you sincerely,
Once lost, now found.
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Wed, 17 Mar 2010 12:00 +0200
Tackling The Couple Kilos http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/tackling-the-couple-kilos
Two years ago, my boyfriend moved in with me and I found that we were both gaining a few kilos and losing it was tougher than we thought. Needless to say, the weight was just piling on. I was confident and loved dressing to impress, but after gaining weight, I lost that confidence and didn’t enjoy dressing up any more.

After reading the article, I immediately put together a weight-loss plan as well as an exercise plan. My boyfriend and I both follow the plans and we find that exercising together is way more fun than we thought.

Thanks COSMO, this article helped me get my confidence back. I have already lost a kilo, and needless to say, we now lead a much healthier lifestyle!
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Wed, 17 Mar 2010 12:00 +0200
Inslimniac http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/inslimniac
After going to the shops to buy a few things, one of my colleagues asked me why I spend so much money on a magazine. I told her that COSMO is not just any mag; it’s a part of my life. I wouldn't know what I would do without it!

I'm an avid COSMO reader, but I have to say, I really love your March 2010 issue. There are so many topics I can identify with: from your article, ‘Are You An ‘Inslimniac’? to your section on Budget Buys, your Sealed Sex section and dieting with your live-in partner.

At the end of February, I was really down, especially in my current job, but after reading my COSMO (cover to cover of course), I actually feel like I can take on this month with new confidence and find the passion that I had when I started this job!

I’ve even got my boyfriend hooked - I have to fight for my mag!

Before I go on and on, I just have to say: Well done, keep up the awesome work!
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Wed, 17 Mar 2010 12:00 +0200
Feeling Flat No More http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/feeling-flat-no-more
I lost my passion for things that make me a person, suddenly shopping, cooking and my love life were things I was just doing and not thinking about or enjoying. Sometimes everyday pressures make you forget what you are truly passionate about.

Your article made me realise that I need to find the passion I had for life and light up my life.

Thanks COSMO.
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Tue, 02 Mar 2010 12:00 +0200
Get Your Mojo Back! http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/get-your-mojo-back The content and articles were fantastic! The last issue of COSMO that I read was in 2008 and, all I can say is, I was pleasantly surprised with the latest issue.  Almost every article answered so many of the mind-baffling questions that I was losing precious sleep over. The article entitled 'Feeling Flat? Get your Mojo Back!' (March 2010) was breathtaking and was exactly what I needed in my life.  My husband had spinal surgery recently and this issue, as well as tips in the Sexpert advice section, have helped us tremendously!
 
Keep up the wonderful work; I can’t wait to get my hands on the next issue! Thank you!
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Tue, 02 Mar 2010 12:00 +0200
Happily Ever After http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/happily-ever-after  
So when you go for your first wax or grate your shin while shaving, you deal with it in horror alone in your bathroom and hide the pain, come up with excuses for the plasters on your legs or tights in heart of summer.
 
Then, of course come relationships. Now, someone could have warned us then that this was going to be more difficult - almost impossible - to recover from at first. I read your article ‘Ex-it Strategy’ and I took a moment to digest it all as my memory played it back to me. I am sure thousands of women (regardless of relationship status) can relate to this. This article made me sigh and laugh as I recognised myself in so many ways - and realised how true it all is. I am one who burns the pictures, throws away the dresses and clears out – packs up and moves on (literally). But emotionally, I am still standing at the closed door. Even though I was out meeting new people, re-doing the hair, clothes and apartment, I relived the good memories. But, like an old scar, I remember why it’s there and when it happened, but the pain is gone. So, reading this article was like I could recall the scars on my heart, the memory of how it got there and the exhilarating emotions I felt. Then the pick-me-ups I used to nurse it whole again. I am still whole and, like your article says ‘during one of the foetal-position episodes I had a realisation; he was everywhere, but not in my heart.’
 
Thanks for making us (women) see that it is okay to mourn the hurt, that we are not alone and it is normal to go through the emotion, and that eventually we emerge ‘in-dependent’ again, without the bitterness or pain. The fairytale is not happily ever after with the prince, but happily ever after with ourselves and if he is strong enough to melt our hearts, he is strong enough to hold us. And if not, we hold our own!
 
Happy Valentine’s Day COSMO!
 
PS. Those 8 difficult relationships were so true, I had a laugh-a-minute as I put at least one face to each situation. We can admit that life is colourful with all of these curveballs; we just need the strength to have the sense to deal with it in an adult way. Sometimes it’s best to laugh and walk away, leave the room or sit at the head of the table and make a statement you believe in (even if only you believe in it!).
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Tue, 02 Mar 2010 12:00 +0200
Ex-It Strategy http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/exit-strategy
See, like many females, I too have felt the heartache and turmoil of an evil male whom I’d dedicated my life, my sanity, my virginity (and lavish gifts) to for over 4 years, only to be left, for no real reason, except that in his mind, I made him miserable.

Plagued by memories, dreams and thoughts upon thoughts,  I pulled myself together! Well, at least I thought I did. Nine months later when he informed me that he was getting married (yes, you read correctly!) all those feelings that I had bottled up came rushing out like a bat out of hell, so I broke all contact. Then my best friend informed me that he was going to be his best man.
I just couldn't get away, it was as if the world was against me. As Beth says in the article: ‘Foetal position. Rocking. Corner. You get the picture'. I cried, I screamed, and of course, I drank, but I could not rid myself of the thought of him and the painful scar that he'd left on me.

Then I read this ‘Trying to rid yourself of the past is a present-tense action, which means that I - not life - was the one keeping him in my now.’

Thank you COSMO, and particularly, thank you Beth Adams! Your article got me over a tremendous hurdle. I realised that I was the one that put it there in the first place.

Now, I can smile again and carry on being a fun, fearless, female. 

Keep up the terrific work!

*Name has been changed

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Tue, 26 Jan 2010 12:00 +0200
Eye Opener http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/eye-opener
Live and love every day as it comes, concentrate on the present, and work on relaxing. Your new guy will notice when you feel comfortable and safe around him. And don't forget to be yourself. Every girl wants to have that special guy in their life that they can look him deep in his eyes, and say ‘I love you.’
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Tue, 26 Jan 2010 12:00 +0200
Complex(ion) Issues http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/complexion-issues  
My sister used to tease me by saying that when I was born I was so black I looked like a lump of coal. One of my uncles even gave me a nickname, ‘Blacky.’ I am now nineteen-years-old and he still subjects me to this same ridicule that I experienced when I was younger.
 
The teasing affected me so much that I started using my mother’s skin creams such as Ponds, Palmers Skin Success and Clear Essence. This did not help me as I had extremely sensitive skin. As a result, I experienced various types of skin rashes, which have scarred me for life.
 
I’m sure my doctor knew what was really causing my skin problems, but I always blamed it on the heat and on my alleged allergy to meat, so he prescribed various types of medications for me, which led to me spending half of my life in the sick bay at boarding school.
 
The sister who teased me was born very light-skinned. She is still lighter than me, yet she still uses skin-lightening creams such as Caro Light. She claims that she doesn’t want to get darker so she needs to maintain her lightness. Another excuse is that she wants the tanned areas of her body to be the same colour as the rest of her body. I can’t remember which program we were watching, either France 24, 3 Talk with Noleen, Oprah, or Tyra, where they were talking about the adverse effects of skin-lightening creams and how much damage they can cause. My sister automatically started defending her use of these products, which shows that people really don’t want to admit their use of such products.
 
I found the statement, ‘…men often claim they don’t want to take the chance that their offspring will have dark skin,’ amusing, as I’ve noticed that it is usually the most dark-skinned men who are after the lighter-skinned women. My father married a light-skinned woman, but still had dark-skinned children.
 
It really shocked me to notice the extremes that we women go to for acceptance. I have seen women whose skin has started to look yellow from the excessive use of lightening creams and I pray that my sister becomes wiser soon.
 
As a dark-skinned girl, I found that I always had to work harder than my light- skinned peers, whether it was winning a teacher’s attention or a boy’s. But I have learnt to love who I am and to appreciate what I have. There is nothing wrong with being light-skinned, but I agree that our society should not expect every black woman to be light-skinned.
 
People are different and every one is unique. That is how our creator intended the world to be. Ignorance is still a disease in our community, one which we really need to be cured of fast.
 
I have to say that I really enjoy watching shows like Nokia Face of Africa, where the girls are truly natural and truly African, whether light or dark, and the competition is fair. I have learnt to love my dark skin and I now know how to make it work for me to the best of its ability. I am a fun, fearless, fabulous female and no complex(ion) issue is going to stop me from loving life any longer!

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Tue, 26 Jan 2010 12:00 +0200
Deeply Disturbed http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/deeply-disturbed  
I’m disturbed. And not in that inevitable way that happens when you’ve just put a large spoonful of decadent chocolate soufflé in your mouth and this is the moment the waitress chooses to come to ask if everything is to your liking. I’m disturbed in the full sense of the word.
 
In your article, ‘Truly, madly, deeply disturbed’ (January 2010) the only thing truly disturbing seems to be the common misconceptions of mental illness by the general public.
 
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (also called ‘manic depression’ in the ‘90s) some 11 years ago, before Britney and before it became the ‘go-to disease’ of choice. It has affected absolutely every aspect of my life to date, my relationships with others in particular - most recently, with the dissolution of my long-term relationship with a man that simply didn’t understand what the disease is all about and didn’t quite know how to handle my ‘low moods’. My doctors have tried (and are still trying) numerous medications in hope of finding the right ‘cocktail’ in order to help me function relatively normally. But occasionally I still find myself at the receiving end of a bad day. It usually goes hand in hand with staying in my PJs all weekend and feeling nauseous when looking in the mirror. For the last 12 months I’ve also had the sickening pleasure of developing crippling migraines.
 
This is, however, not my biggest problem with the disease. The general misconceptions and casual ‘light-hearted’ manner in which the general public approach the disease with, is. If I had 50c for every time I heard someone say ‘So-and-so must be bipolar, they’ve been acting really strangely lately’, I would be holidaying in Bali every other month! I suppose that is what the world has come to though. When we see someone who has lost a significant amount of weight and looks gaunt, we find ourselves thinking ‘Could he have Aids?’ or when a friend comments that her hair is falling out at an alarming rate we speculate as to whether it might be the big C!
 
People are so terribly cynical these days, but worst of all with all the technology and information right at our fingertips, we’re still so uninformed. Is it simply easier to believe the hype, or are we just so self-involved that important things, like for example, the facts, simply do not matter?

There are two groups of people (in my opinion) that are largely to blame for this; that strange phenomenon known as celebrity, and the even stranger species known as the paparazzi. Every time a young star goes out on the town followed by a very public head-shaving incident, it is said that they’re bipolar, which, in Britney’s case seems to actually be true, but the rest are simply acts of spoilt adolescence by youngsters who have been thrust into the spotlight. Not all bipolar sufferers are train wrecks: Sylvia Plath, the author of some hauntingly beautiful prose was bipolar, as well as the very talented Vivien Leigh and Patty Duke. The ‘darkness’ that came with bipolar somehow gave them more depth and range in their respective arts.
 
Ludwig Von Beethoven, Vincent Van Gogh, Mark Twain, Kurt Vonnegut, Virginia Woolf, Winston Churchill, Theodore Roosevelt, Jimi Hendrix - all with a fine-tuned sensitivity and all suffering from this disease.
 
Life is radically different to what it was 50 years ago; there are more pressures to face, both internally and externally. Even my grandparents don’t understand why these days ‘practically everyone’ is bipolar! In future, I truly hope that people would be more sensitive before making assumptions and judgements regarding someone’s mental state. Not everything is always as it seems looking from the outside in.

*Name has been changed
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Tue, 26 Jan 2010 12:00 +0200
Toy-o-boy http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/toy-o-boy
What I love most about COSMO is the sex articles. And this month's (July) issue was no different. My fiancé and I like to experiment when it comes to sex, toys and role playing. It's one of the things that have kept our relationship alive an exciting.

So as I paged through my COSMO this month and got to the Sealed Sex Section with the toys, my fiancé almost sat on top of me to see. I must admit I already have three of the exact same toys you have in the section, a couple of role play outfits, movies, magazines and lubricant.

But to be educated like this always gives us something new to try. So I must thank COSMO for my very healthy and exciting sex life. Keep it up and please! Keep us entertained
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Tue, 11 Aug 2009 12:00 +0200
Pity Parties http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/pity-parties
Imagine my surprise a couple of weeks ago when I was notified by a very persistent member of the ubber awesome COSMO team that I had won a makeover with Wella and COSMOPOLITAN magazine. I will never forget walking in and catching the eye of the super efficient makeover artiste with her quiet smile – she knew exactly what she was going to do. She welcomed me and made me feel very comfortable and was offered a cappuccino that rivalled the Italian Coffee Shops in Milan. It was very important to her that I was happy with what she was going to do.

While she mixed her colours I was whisked away to meet an unusually gifted photographer – gifted because of her ability to see past the long lens and deep into my very soul. It was also important to her to bring out the true me.

After the Magic Wella products were foiled and spread onto my hair, imagine my surprise when I was offered a head and neck and upper back massage by the wonderful lady washing my hair. Something so menial turned out to be one of the highlights. Her pride in this labour of love was magnificent. It was important to her that I felt transformed, and I was. This is apparently a treat the high-end salons offer.

My next delight was the makeup artist who had been listening to my chatter and promptly gave me "the Cleopatra look" – whilst shutting first one eye then the other in her pursuit of happiness (painting the perfect canvas). The genius photographer also took a keen interest in me and even suggested I study drama part-time as I was clearly an actress of note. My angelic hair stylist kept her eye on all of us and made sure she checked my hair before the final shots. I, of course, loved the camera and the added gift of Wella products to keep my hair beautiful.

I realized that luck and timing are all very important, but it is the beauty in the soul within that makes all the difference. Anyone can orchestrate a makeover but nobody can transform and make-a-woman-over like the COSMO team. To the COSMO HR Department – I salute you for finding these gems!

Thank you for making me look and feel like a brazillion dollars. No more Pity Parties for me!
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Tue, 11 Aug 2009 12:00 +0200
Life Support http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/life-support
This is when I realised that I should go for a First Aid course, but to my luck, I read "Life Support" in the July 09 issue which gave me all the basic tips I need. Who would have ever thought you could learn all this from COSMO! I can't wait to see what's in store for me to learn in the next issue.

Thanks for all the tips and interesting articles. I loved every page!
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Tue, 11 Aug 2009 12:00 +0200
Best of Both Worlds http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/best-of-both-worlds When your Country Hates the Man You Love (June 2009). It was brilliantly written to enlighten and educate not only South Africans, but the human race at large about xenophobia in all its forms.

Thank you for entertaining, informing and, at the same time, educating us. I mean, what would life be without COSMO? ]]>
Thu, 11 Jun 2009 12:00 +0200
It's All About Me http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/its-all-about-me I realised then that my entire life had revolved around him.

Reading the article Please Yourself, Please (June 2009), I have rebuilt my confidence level and come to realisation that there's nothing wrong with saying no. I have picked up the pieces and am building a stronger me.

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Thu, 11 Jun 2009 12:00 +0200
Xenophobic South Africans http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/xenophobic-south-africans
I am dating a Zambian guy and during the xenophobic attacks last year his father decided he should return to Zambia. He could not finish his studies.

His father was very reluctant of him to return to South Africa this year, but decided he should finish studying. Although he had to live with relatives in Pretoria, we still dating but it's long distance. I just don't understand why people can be so cruel to their fellow brothers and sisters. I don't get what kind of human being can do this even to children who have not harmed a soul. These groups of South Africans have brought international shame and I am ashamed of what they are doing while the rest of the world perceives us as xenophobic.
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Thu, 11 Jun 2009 12:00 +0200
COSMO Girlfriend! http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/cosmo-girlfriend COSMOPOLITAN!

With the economic crises we find ourselves in today, it's a little challenging to still splurge on the luxuries. So when my husband surprised me with this month's fabulous COSMO, a deep sense of appreciation filled my heart. As I opened the wrapping and smelled the glossy pages, before I even reached the index I knew I was in for a treat. Then I took a good look at all the wonderful COSMO people who have made my luxury a reality. Thank you so much Editors, Managers, Producers, Designers, Executives, Receptionists, PA's, Librarians, Controllers, Coordinators, Archivists, Publishers, Chairman and Assistants for a remarkable magazine!

It's so hard to compliment any specific article as all are so informative and educational! The Your Chemical Romance (June 2009) article appealed to me; as I ravished it, I realised I'm the 'slow burner' and my partner the 'big bang', so when I turned the page to find opposites attract i was delighted at its accuracy! COSMO, you are my best girlfriend giving me tips and advice on make-up, fashion trends, relationships, career guidance and even hairstyles... Giving me that boost of confidence that lasted long after I've indulged COSMO cover-to-cover, thank you for the inspiration to be my very best and to have fun... to be a fearless, fabulous female! Thank you my best friend!! ]]>
Thu, 11 Jun 2009 12:00 +0200
Tripping with COSMO http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/tripping-with-cosmo
What a way to spend a weekend. ]]>
Thu, 11 Jun 2009 12:00 +0200
Hey COSMO!! http://www.cosmopolitan.co.za//CosmoWorld/ReadersLetters/hey-cosmo
Here's to lots more COSMOs! ]]>
Thu, 11 Jun 2009 12:00 +0200