V-Day For All!

My single friends are not delighted that it is, once again, Valentine’s Day. Reassuring them that being single on V-Day can be just as much fun (and sometimes better) as being part of a long-standing couple does not go down well.
I happen to believe that V-Day is perfectly peachy if you are in the first six months of a relationship. Or if you are frisking around breaking hearts and having yours broken. But for longtime couples, February 14 tends to elicit responses ranging from ‘ho hum’ and ‘very nice, thank you, darling’ to a hissing, snarling diatribe against the massive con trick of commercialism that is Valentine’s Day.
While it’s very nice to receive a gift of flowers or perfume from someone with whom you have been sharing toothpaste and a lavatory for years, it does not pack the same emotional punch as a card or rose from a surprising source, a fan you didn’t know you had!
An expensive, lacy piece of something from the lingerie family (a gift for him masquerading as ‘what you’ve always wanted’) is lovely when you’re in the early days of a love affair but, years later, when what you really want is a YSL Roady (a gift for you), it’s not so thrilling. Trust me.
I think the answer to a happy Valentine’s Day is all in the thrill, myself. (I would be beyond thrilled, Guru, with a Roady. I am just saying...). So, if I were single now I would take a chance. I’d probably send the object of my affections a batch of heart-shaped cookies, even though my mother always said not to, under any circumstances. What’s the worst that could happen? You discover he’s not that interested. Is that terrible? At least you would realise that you were up a dead-end, and instantly stop wasting your time and move on.
Men come and go but time is finite. You do not have masses of it to waste on one who ‘isn’t that into you’. You’re not sad; that’s sad.
What else to do on and around February 14? I’d go out dancing with my other single girlfriends. I’d stay home and watch three episodes of The Wire, back to back. I’d eat too many chocolates in bed. And sleep diagonally across the bed, if I felt like it. All the good stuff you can’t do when you’re in a relationship.
The Guru has not yet given me a YSL Roady, but he has passed on the odd nugget of wisdom. And one of his all-time greats is this: you do not have to make yourself miserable by wishing for what you haven’t got. Learn to value what you have instead.
So, this February, SGs, that gem is my Valentine to you all: love what you’ve got. Then go looking for love! See you on the dance floor.

Author: Vanessa Raphaely