Tales of a COSMO Princess
Cosmorella, our COSMO princess of past ed's notes has yet to find her prince. It's been a roller coaster couple of years and she's been up and down, hot and cold, in and out. The whole Katy Perry.
And just before Valentine's Day this year, her latest Frogsnake slithered off into the sunset. Oh dear. That was not the result she or I (her COSMOGodFairy) had in mind.
This lack of lasting romantic success is not due to any shortage of optimism, hopefulness or gung-ho spirit on her part. She has followed her COSMOGodFairy's advice, one could say, almost to the letter. And it has still not delivered her her Holy
Grail: a decent man. Only the lying, two timing, semi-detached, dysfunctional, feckless wrenches she has now unfriended on Facebook.
Even the most buoyant of princesses can occasionally lose their mojo (aka The Will To Date). 'I am not a bloody boxer. I don't want any more bruises, black eyes and bloody noses,' she tells me, fire coming out of her nose and ears. (Her injuries are of the emotional, not physical, variety, but are no less painful.)
'I am getting a cat. I am going on a man-fast. Do you know any nice book clubs I could join?' For someone like me, who prides herself on her advice on the subject of men, relationships and sex, and doesn't really have much expertise in cats and book clubs, this is a dark moment. Is it time for me to have a crisis of confidence and humility and for her to change? Is it time for her to trade in both the person she asks for advice and her modus operandi?
Time to think.
But, being naturally buoyant, optimistic and energetic myself*, I decide it is not time to retire myself. And certainly not time for her to give up either.
Here's the thing: this search for love is not easy. That's all there is to it. Anything that matters takes hard work. Sometimes the hardest work of all starts with yourself. (Why am I choosing these guys? What can I do to change my selection process? Where am I going wrong?) Sometimes the hard work is the amount of bravery it takes to gather yourself and get back in the ring, as it were, after you've been figuratively bashed around a bit.
Sometimes the hard work is the energy it takes to keep on slugging when you've convinced yourself that there is no Holy Grail, and Plan B (what a great name for a cat!) seems much simpler, easier and altogether lovelier.
But that, of course, is a cop-out. That is the stuff of bitter old ladies who have given up on love and feel the world has done them a disservice. Here's a secret: all the world's prizes (and yes, there are certainly more prize men than there are princes) come to those women who keep on walking. The women who wear their bruises of experience with pride (not shame) and who don't let a mere Frogsnake or two stand in their way.
Go on, all you princesses – get out there. Keep going. Keep looking. The search for love is an honourable one. And you can always get Plan B, the cat, later on.
*Hey sometimes. Not always. No-one is perfect - not even COSMO princesses.