Men... Honestly!
This month we launch our new upfront Bro/Brother column, co-written by the intelligent, funny and generally rather marvellous Matt du Plessis and Sipho Hlongwane. We've given them the brief to be as honest as they like. No self-censorship for our
sensitive little female ears required! lt's important, I think, to listen to what the other half thinks. Even when what they have to say is not perhaps what you, or I, would like to hear.
The truth is, what I would like to hear from my man (The Guru On The Sofa) is the following: 'No, you do not need to lose weight', 'Yes, you were incredibly witty and not at all drunk and obnoxious at dinner last night', 'Yes, darling, you are right and pretty much everyone else is wrong' and 'Of course, go ahead, have another helping of roast potatoes. They mean you no harm.' All of this is, of course, very, very nice. But, like a second helping of chocolate mousse, it isn't very good for you.
I think it's always important to listen carefully to people with whom you disagree, and while I do not disagree with every man I know, hearing what they have to say sometimes stings. For that very reason I'd like Matt and Sipho to be honest about what they feel and think.
The Guru says that what he thinks women (I think he means me, mostly) want to hear is 'there, there', 'tut-tut' or 'tsk, tsk', and not anything approaching constructive criticism or advice, even if we've solicited it. And he might have a point. There's a significant difference between comfort and help. Sometimes, receiving help requires just a little more irom the person needing it than wallowing in the cosy shallows of comfort.
Summoning bravery, good humour and an open mind is a good place to start when facing any challenge. And, as we all know, men can be very challenging….
There are the healthy challenges of conflict, of course. And, indeed, why should two people see things in the same way? (That's why we've asked two men to take up our challenge.) But there's also the ornery - and who wants to give airtime to bullies, thugs or trolls? A spoonful of sugar (or at least a sprinkling of GSOH) does help the medicine go down....
Sometimes, of course, tales from the other side area not adversarial or tough to digest. Sometimes they're just fascinating, funny and insightful - like an entertaining hour spent watching Nat Geo Wild. We're looking forward to those moments with Matt and Sipho, too.
But after you've had your fill of what the men think, there's much more, as always, to entertain, inform and delight you. We're COSMO, after all. This month sees our first hair guide (page 121) for all the sisters with ethnic hair; just for starters. July also sees our third annual Techno Queen supplement and, as usual, there's all the fashion, beauty, psyche, relationship and health stuff your boyfriend really doesn't want to discuss with you.
Men. You can't live without them - you just have to try to understand them. You could do worse than start on page 52.