Cosmoplitan
  • Connect with Cosmo

FASHION OVERVIEW

SAVE AND SHARE

Twitter Facebook

Elton John: My friend's death from AIDS saved my life

Sir Elton John believes he would be dead if it wasn't for his late friend who died of AIDS aged 18.
The 65-year-old singer - who has battled drink and drugs addiction - admits he was a ''huge cocaine addict'' during his friend Ryan White's plight and up to his death in 1990, but the teenager played a big part in inspiring the 'Rocket Man' hitmaker to take stock of his life and conquer his addictions.
In his forthcoming book, 'Love is the Cure: On Life, Loss and the End of AIDS', serialised in the Mail On Sunday, he wrote: ''Ryan was a true hero, a true Christian, because he unconditionally forgave those who made him suffer. Ryan changed the course of a deadly epidemic and helped save millions of lives.
''But when Ryan died in April 1990 at the age of 18, I didn't know how to speak to someone unless I had a nose full of cocaine and a stomach full of alcohol. After his funeral, I returned to London and locked myself away at home, as had become my habit.
''My sense of values was buried under my self-destruction. But I'm here today because of Ryan.''
The musician - who has raised more than £175 million for the Elton John AIDS Foundation - still feels ''deeply ashamed'' that he didn't do more about the AIDS epidemic, and he believes it's a ''small miracle'' that he never contracted HIV.
He added: ''I'm deeply ashamed that I did not do more about AIDS back then when my friends, including Ryan, were dying all around me. I just did not have the strength or sobriety to do anything about it.
I would go to funerals, I would cry, I would mourn, sometimes for weeks. And my behaviour got worse, I was sleeping around without protection and it is a small miracle that I never contracted HIV myself.
I remember watching television after Ryan's death and seeing footage of the funeral. It was one of the lowest points of my life.
''My hair was white, my skin pale. I was bloated and gorged. I looked tired, sick and beaten. I looked horrible. It was almost too much to take. I had been overcome by addiction; I was completely out of control. I looked, quite frankly, like a piano-playing Elvis Presley.
''As messed up as I've ever been. There was no question: I was going to change, or I was going to die.''
Celebrity Gossip
Victoria Beckham hiked Grand Canyon for birthday

Victoria Beckham celebrated turning 40 by hiking the Grand Canyon in Arizona with her husb Read More

Celebrity Gossip
Taylor Momsen loves New York

Taylor Momsen insists she could never live in California because it lacks the ''grit'' of Read More

Celebrity Gossip
Uma Thurman no longer feels guilty

Uma Thurman no longer feels guilty about being a working mother and she is much more relax Read More

Celebrity Gossip
Kerry Washington has learnt a lot from pregnancy

Kerry Washington thinks her pregnancy has made her a better actress because it has made he Read More

Celebrity Gossip
Leighton Meester praises Adam Brody

Leighton Meester thinks her new husband Adam Brody is ''incredible'' and loved getting the Read More

Celebrity Gossip
Kanye West has moved into a hotel

Kanye West has moved into a hotel in Los Angeles because he is fed up of waiting for renov Read More

Celebrity Gossip
Britney Spears' dad wants her to stay single

Britney Spears' father, Jamie Spears, reportedly doesn't want her to get married again bec Read More

Celebrity Gossip
Lady Gaga getting engaged?

Lady Gaga's boyfriend Taylor Kinney is planning to propose to her soon after two years of Read More

Celebrity Gossip
Andrew Garfield is 'starry-eyed' around Emma Stone

Andrew Garfield is permanently ''starry-eyed'' around his girlfriend of almost three years Read More

Celebrity Gossip
Jamie Foxx gets 'starstruck' around Halle Berry

Jamie Foxx admits he gets ''starstruck'' around Halle Berry because she is so beautiful. Read More

fancyafce

They should know me because i like being with different people learn whatever they teach or do and...

SmallTownGirl27

Funny, independant, smart, loving and adventurous. I'm a real girl who likes flowers and sunsets, I...

Taurus_CT

I am honest, ambitious, creative and enjoy the outdoors. I love to go camping, scuba diving, and...

blady111

I m open, understanding, like to travel, not selfish and ask me later. I m looking for a man who...

to

Thomas Wesley Pentz/Diplo

Age
35
Home Town
Tupelo, Mississippi
Hair
Blonde
Eyes
Blue
Status
Single
Star Sign
Scorpio
Passions
Music, fashion and design
Capture your memories (and share the good times)

Canon's new vid cams are so gorgeous (and tiny) - a must-take-along for festivals! And good times of every description

READ MORE
PROMOTIONS